Question: My child spends too much time playing computer
and video games. He's so passionate about these games, that
when I suggest he's overdoing it he gets angry with me. Am I
wrong to try to curb this habit?
Think about it: Your most important job as a parent is not
to make your child happy. It's to raise a responsible,
capable, thinking person. Therefore, not all your decisions
will be popular with your son. Your goal should be to make
the right decisions.
Make a plan: Start by deciding how much time you think is
appropriate for spending on these activities, say, one hour
per day. Make a list of suggested alternate activities for
your child's remaining free time. Announce that your new
rule is one hour of playing per day. Give your child the
suggested list of alternatives. Be positive. Expect great
unhappiness on your child's part. Be firm and loving. Stick
to your guns. After about two weeks you'll see a new,
energetic kid emerge!
Change the schedule: If your child has a typical video
playing time, such as after dinner, begin planning more
activities during that time.
Use the When/Then technique: "When you have finished your
homework and chores, you may then turn on the computer."
Establish this routine as standard practice.
Use it to teach: Take advantage of your child's love of the
computer by using it as a teaching tool. Replace the
mindless or violent games with the creative, exciting
learning programs that are available. There are now many
available that use exciting games and graphics to teach
history, math, reading, and thinking skills. These are
programs that you're only too happy to see your child
happily engaged in for long periods of time.
Elizabeth Pantley is the author of several books, including "Kid Cooperation", "Perfect Parenting, The Dictionary
of 1,000 Parenting Tips", and also "Hidden Messages" , her most recent book. Introductions in all three of her books have been written by William Sears, MD.
Elizabeth is also president of Better Beginnings, Inc. A regular radio show guest, she has been quoted in Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, American Baby, Working Mother, and Woman's Day magazines.
This article was excerpted with permission by NTC/Contemporary
Publishing Group Inc. from Perfect Parenting, The Dictionary
of 1,000 Parenting Tips by Elizabeth Pantley, copyright
1999
