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This article is about working with *infants* towards accomplishing what is
commonly known as "potty training." There is no English term to
suitably describe "infant potty training" (IPT) as a whole, since (a)
an infant cannot sit on a potty and (b) the process is more akin to teamwork
(with your baby) and interconnectedness than actual training. Communication is
the key to connecting with your baby about elimination. I refer to this method
as "infant potty training" and "trickle treat."
Perhaps the most unique characteristic of this method is that parents
typically begin working with a baby before she can even sit. Instead of
beginning research on toilet training around the time a child takes her first
steps, parents need to consider this method during pregnancy or the first
weeks/months after delivery.
Philosophy
Babies are smarter than we think! The big mistake that people make is to
presume that a newborn baby is unaware of going to the toilet. We assume an
infant is incapable of toilet learning since infants are small and uncoordinated
and also because they cannot walk or talk. An infant is helpless in so many ways
that it is hard for Westerners to imagine such a tiny being could be aware of
peeing and pooping. It is even harder for us to believe that an infant has some
control over elimination. With these preconceived and narrow views, we encourage
and teach our babies to be unconcerned about wetting and soiling diapers. In
short, we teach our infants to use diapers as a toilet.
A normal, healthy infant is indeed aware of the bodily function of
elimination and can learn to respond to it from infancy. By using diapers, we
condition and thereby train baby to go in them. Later the child must unlearn
this training. This can be confusing and a traumatic experience for the child.our infants to use diapers as a toilet.
An infant does his best to communicate his awareness to you, but if you don't
listen, he will stop communicating and gradually lose touch with the elimination
functions. He will be conditioned not to care and learn that you want him to use
his diaper as a toilet.
Not only is toilet training from infancy basically unheard of in the United
States, it also strikes many as inconvenient. With relatively few exceptions,
however, toilet training is by definition inconvenient no matter how you do it.
If you wait for your baby to self-train at 2, 3, 4 or older, you are both
subjected to years of diaper changes (not to mention laundry, baby wipes and
other means of sanitation).
Diapers, especially disposable ones, are a temporary way to deal with
toileting. We attempt to "plug up" our child's disposal system with
diapers in the same way as we temporarily stop the flow from a leaking pipe. How
many parents have pondered whether or not this is the most hygienic solution for
the child? How many parents care about the effects of diapers on the
environment? How many would care if they knew of an alternative to full-time
diapers?
Who Can Use This Method?
Parents of infants, parents-to-be, grandparents, nannies and anyone else
interested in lovingly and patiently working with an infant towards
accomplishing potty training at the earliest possible age. "Infant" is
the operative word here, as opposed to "toddler," in that a caregiver
begins working as a team with an infant in the early months of life. Infant
potty training is best used by:
- a parent who spends at least the first 1 or 2 years caring for baby
- a working parent with one or more trustworthy and reliable helper(s) such
as a family member, nanny or friend.
What Does It Take?
Time, diligence and patience. If you cannot devote these qualities or arrange
for any assistance you may need, this is not the method for you or your baby.
But if this method makes sense, if it resonates, go for it! It canŐt hurt to
try, and if it doesnŐt work out, you can go back to diapering.
When Do I Start?
The ideal time to start is anytime from birth to 4 months old. During this
time, there is a window of learning open.
How Long Does It Take?
The average age of completion in the West is around 2 years, although babies
have fairly good control of elimination for *many* months before completion.
Is It Safe?
Of course, as long as parents have the right mind set. Parents must be
relaxed and positive about working with their babies. Parents must exercise
patience and gentleness; observe and respond to baby's signals on time whenever
reasonably possible; and provide proper and loving support while holding their
infants. This is a non-punitive method. Punishment, anger and control are NOT a
part of this method. Note that this method is radically different from the harsh
"early toilet training" method used in Western countries until the
1950s.
Does It Really Work?
Yes, but not without some effort. Success does not just happen on its own. It
takes at least one committed adult and several months of perseverance to
complete infant potty training. Right from the very start, there are fun and
exciting daily rewards for both baby and caregiver. Baby's communication is
acknowledged and encouraged. Parents are amazed at the degree of their infant's
awareness and are thrilled when he signals and responds so easily and naturally.
Does My Baby Have To Be Naked?
This is not a requirement. Many parents keep a diaper or training pants on
their baby in between potty visits, while others prefer to leave their baby
bare-bottomed or naked most of the time. In short, it is a matter of preference.
A Wonderful Discovery (My Experience with IPT)
My first two children experienced conventional potty training. When my third
son was born, I dreaded the thought of another bout of conventional toilet
training which would entail additional years of diapers and began seeking a
better means to accomplish this task.
I learned the basis for an alternative technique through a lady visiting us
from India. She was horrified when I told her the way Westerners handle the
"waste disposal issue" and explained to me the way things are done
"back home" in her culture. I was skeptical when she told me that
there is no need to use "the cloths" on an infant unless it is
"ill of the stomach," feverish or wets the bed most nights. I had been
to India several times and had noticed families peeing and pooping their babies
around the countryside, but had not paid close attention. Like many others, I
mistakenly assumed that Westerners could not use this technique.
I begged my new friend to tell me more and to teach me how to hold my son and
get him to "go" for me, which she gladly and effortlessly did. I was
spellbound watching her communicate with my tiny 3-month-old son, who somehow
instinctively knew what she wanted him to do. I can only describe the exchange
and instant understanding between them--a stranger and an infant--as a wonderful
discovery.
I begged my new friend to tell me more and to teach me how to hold my son and
I used the technique she demonstrated, slightly modifying and adapting it to
a Western lifestyle, and found it to be far superior to conventional
diaper-to-potty-training. From the day I started working with my 3-month-old
son, he rarely needed a diaper, day or night. He stayed dry during most of the
day at age 18 months and was finished with all aspects of potty training at age
25 months.
Outlook and Source
The trickle treat method begins with conditioning and can be approached in a
rational and scientific manner as well as an intuitive and spiritual one, or a
combination of both depending on what works best for you and your baby. The
rational approach involves timing and observation of elimination patterns and
baby body language. The more spiritual approach involves intuition and
"tuning in" to your baby in more subtle ways.
Remember, it is teamwork, something you do together via close and trusting
communication. It is not something you are doing to your baby, and it is not
something your baby can do without you. If you are willing and able, and if your
baby is healthy, your baby is ready for you.
Infant potty training is based on an elimination training technique used in
much of Asia and rural Sub-Saharan Africa. The method has been adapted to the
Western lifestyle in various ways, including the use of a sink, potty, toilet or
other container; variations in elimination positions; part-time use of the
technique; and, where desired, part-time use of diapers.
Synopsis of the Method
1. Observation
Lay your undiapered baby in a comfortable, warm and safe place, then observe
her:
a) timing (how long and how frequently she goes after waking or feeding)
b) body language (such as twisting or grimacing while defecating)
c) sounds (such as grunting while defecating)
2. Anticipation or Intuition
Anticipate when your infant needs to go, then at that moment, make a watery
sound such as "sssss." Alternatively, if your baby starts to go while
you are observing her, immediately make the "sssss" sound. Within a
few days, your baby will associate this sound with elimination.
3. Position & Toilet Place
When you think your infant needs to go, hold her gently and securely over
your preferred toilet place while giving an audible signal ("sssss" or
whatever sound/words you prefer). Your baby will soon associate the sound,
position and place with elimination. Use whatever location and receptacle are
most comfy and convenient. Examples include the bathroom sink, a mixing bowl, a
basin and the outdoors. Older babies can sit between your legs on the toilet.
4. Baby-Mother Communication
From now on, pay close attention to baby's timing and signals. When you think
she needs to go, hold her in position and give your signal. If it is near time
to go, infants are able to relax those muscles upon receiving your cues.
How Do I Know When My Baby Needs to Go?
You can know when baby needs to go by one or more of the following:
- Timing (by the clock)
-
Signals and cues (including body language and vocalizations)
-
Patterns of elimination (relation to feeding, waking, etc.)
-
Intuition and instinct
Benefits of Infant Potty Training
The three big winners are baby, parent(s) and the environment. Here is a more
complete list of the benefits of infant potty training.
-
Enhances bonding through closeness, natural communication and loving
patience.
-
Responds to infantsŐ natural elimination communication and timing.
-
Taps into first window of learning (sensitivity period) for toilet
learning.
-
Helps environment by conserving/saving trees, water, petroleum and landfill
space.
-
Eliminates or drastically reduces diaper use.
-
Allows babies to achieve good control by 12-15 months.
-
Lets baby complete potty training at a relatively young age (around 24
months).
-
Frees baby from diapers and all negative associations (bulk between legs,
chemicals, etc.)
-
Avoids/eliminates enuresis (bed wetting).
-
Prevents diaper rash.
-
Provides hygienic respect for your baby.
-
Eliminates embarrassing "accidents" for toddlers.
-
Allows dad or other close, trusted ones to bond and communicate with baby.
-
Yields big savings on diapers and laundry costs.
Terminology
Different expressions are used to describe this method. Here is a list of some of the more common ones:
- infant potty training (IPT)
- trickle treat (TT)
- elimination timing (ET)
- elimination communication (EC)
- mother training
- potty untraining
- natural infant hygiene (NIH)
Questions? Contact me!
I'm Laurie Boucke and you can e-mail me at:
laurieb@white-boucke.com
© copyright 2000
Material from this article may not be reproduced without written permission.
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